Squall slowly retraces his steps back to the Infirmary. Once back there he ignores both Zell and Dr. Kadowaki as he enters Irvine’s room, closing the door behind him and shutting the blinds. He moves the seat in the room so that it is right next to the bed, and the sits down on it. Looking at Irvine, who is now on his back and deeply asleep, he thinks,

‘Irvine, wake up soon. I want to talk to you, need to talk to you, about earlier, please …’

He takes Irvine’s right hand in his and the he leans on his arms, falling asleep through tiredness while waiting for Irvine to wake.

*~*~*~*~

‘Ungh, h-how long’ve I been out? Must be a while, and now on my back. Wonder how it went? Well my shoulder is certainly painful enough for it to have been successful… Curious … my right hand … strangely warm. Why? Guess I really need to open my eyes to find out …’

“Squall …” he says as his eyes flicker then open. ‘Huh? Why’d I say his name?’

He looks down to his right to see why his hand is so warm. Through heavily lidded eyes he sees Squall lying on his arms asleep, his right hand clutching Irvine’s. A slight frown is visible on his face and his eyes can be seen flickering rapidly behind his eye lids. Irvine watches Squall for several minutes as the eye movements become faster and seem almost frantic. Also Squall’s grip on Irvine’s hand becomes tighter and his frown deepens.

‘Hmm, looks like it is not a good dream. Maybe I should wake him … though I’d better do it gently; I don’t want to startle him …’

Irvine carefully shifts onto his right side, careful to not pull his hand from Squall’s tight grasp. He puts his left hand at the base of Squall’s skull and begins to gently massage it. He leans a little closer to Squall and speaks gently to him,

“Squall, Squall wake up. Come on wake up. Come back to the land of the living! Stop causing yourself pain and leave the dream, come back to me …”

Squall’s eyelids flicker open revealing sleep filled grey eyes. A couple of tears try to leave his eyes, but he scrubs at his eyes with the back of his left hand, trying to be rid of the tears and the sleep.

“Bad dream?” asks Irvine gently.

Squall looks up from his position leaning on the bed before he says, “some of it, some not so. Kinda weird I guess, but someone of it was really quite good.”
“How so? D’you want to talk about it?”
“Mmmm,” Squall says as he nods his head, “it was strange, I mean the dream seemed to flit about. It started with us, me in your bed, curled up in your arms, lying on your chest,” he says looking down at his hands which are clasped as he left Irvine’s hand as he started talking. “And then went to me watching Rinoa, Selphie and some other SeeDs fighting. I was watching them from the bridge of Garden. Then it jumped back to you and me in my dorm talking, then back to the battle again, and then well you woke me.”
“And is that what you want?”
“What?”
“You, me, Rinoa and Selphie out of the way.”
“Maybe, I don’t know.”
“How do you feel?”
“Well I know I love you, which was proved to me earlier in that room. But I also know I love Rinoa, so I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
“Squall, why did you tell me what you were thinking?” Irvine asks as he looks away from Squall.
“When do you mean?”
“Earlier, in the private room.”
“You asked, I told you.”
“Would you have done the same if it were Rinoa?”
“No, it might have hurt her. Plus she doesn’t know about the room.”
“And you thought I’m so hard hearted it wouldn’t hurt me?”

Squall jerks his head up to look at Irvine, clearly shocked and hurt from his expression.

“I guess I thought you’d be ok with it. Sorry,” Squall pushes up of the bed but Irvine grabs Squall’s left wrist before he gets out of reach.
“I didn’t mean you had to leave, I just want to know how you think about me, and about Rinoa.” Squall doesn’t look round at Irvine, but says,
“I never meant to hurt you. I’ll go.”
“No Squall, come here,” and when Squall doesn’t move, “I said ‘come here’,” and he tugs on Squall’s arm. Squall sits back down on the chair, his head in his hands. “Talk to me Squall, tell me how you feel.”
“I can’t explain how I feel,” Squall says from behind his hands. “When I’m with you I feel …, I don’t know what I feel. I don’t understand these feelings; I don’t understand why I feel them; and I don’t understand where they’ve come from; and I don’t understand what to do about them. I just don’t understand any of it. I’ve suppressed feelings for so long that I don’t know what to do now.”
“Well let me help you, please.”
“If I do that I may never stop and if I never stop we could become too close and I don’t want to hurt Rinoa and Selphie.”
“We won’t Squall, we’re best friends, or at least your mine, I don’t know if I’m yours, but it wouldn’t be surprising if we spent time together.”
“But what if …”
“Squall stop worrying about the ‘what if’s’ and start living. If something happens it happens, life is short, do what you want for once instead of trying to please everyone else. Let me help you do what you want, and help you feel again.”
“And if I do, you’ll always be here for me?”
“Of course Squall, remember what I said earlier, it still applies. Friendship matters, and if it becomes something more then well that’s brilliant.”

And with that he pulls Squall onto the bed with him, holding him in a tight embrace. Squall rests comfortably on Irvine’s chest, at ease with Irvine, as the blinds are shut and he has no fears of discovery and therefore no chance of causing pain.

THE END.