“Squall I think it has something to do with the fact you shot him. When you brought him in here six months ago, there was the wound on his right shoulder, the obvious entry point of the bullet. And on his back was a small wound which I assumed was the exit point, as it was just below the shoulder blade. Owing to what has arisen today I now believe I was wrong, though at the time I felt something wasn’t right. But I pushed this doubt to the back of my mind, as Irvine seemed fine. Also the fact that Irvine wouldn’t say in here for tests after he cast the cure spell led me to believe I was right and that it was an exit wound. In fact he couldn’t leave fast enough as I remember. But now I’m not so sure. The small wound on his back could have been caused by anything, something when he fell probably. A rock or a stone or a branch of the fallen tree. Anyway I now believe the bullet never left Irvine. I’m assuming it hit his shoulder blade which caused the bullet to change trajectory and slowed the speed of it. It changed the trajectory so that it was aiming for Irvine’s Spinal cord instead, which would explain the excruciating pain he experiences, and I think he blacks out as it becomes too much for his body to handle. And moving around for the past six months with the bullet pressing there hasn’t helped as he had probably been pushing it further and further into his spinal cord causing more frequent black outs and longer black outs. Of course at the moment this is all just speculation based on what I’ve heard from you all and what I’ve seen. This is why I wanted Rinoa here. I want her to manipulate a scan spell to look for the bullet.”
“And if it is there?” asks Squall quietly.
“I’ll have to operate to remove it.”
“And if it isn’t?” asks Zell.
“Then it is back to square one and I won’t know what is wrong.”
“Squall I need to know what sort of bullet was in your gunblade when you shot Irvine,” says Rinoa.
“… Shotgun. I’ll never forget what sort it was.”
“And what is it made of?”
“Irvine would know better that me that. But I think it is made of Tungsten, Tin, and Zinc. Something like that anyway.”
“Right thanks Squall. Though there is one more thing I still need your help with.”
“My help? How?”
“It is going to take two people to manipulate the spell correctly. And I feel I know you best. I’m gonna have to use my sorceress powers to enter your mind and you’ll have to enter mine. So you can see why it has to be someone I’m close to.”
“Ok.”
“I’m not going to lie to you Squall. There is an element of risk involved with this, while inside each others minds we mustn’t mix our emotions. This could damage both our memories …”
“Whatever, I’ll do anything to help Irvine.”
“Well we need to go somewhere quiet, there must be no distraction.”
“Ok but first give me your mobile please Rinoa.”

She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile handing it over to Squall. She looks a little puzzled but does as he asks none the less.

“My mobile number is in here isn’t it Rin?”
“Yeah, quick dial 9.”
“Selphie, if Irvine wakes up and gives you or Dr. Kadowaki problems, call me. I’ll come down straight away.”
“Ok,” says Selphie.
“Shall we go then Rin? Your dorm or mine?”
“Where would you feel most comfortable Squall?”
“I can feel comfortable in either.”
“Then mine would be best for me.”
“Fine.”

They get up and leave. Selphie returns to Irvine’s room in the Infirmary lying down on the bed next to him again, clutching the mobile phone in her hand.

“Zell I think we need to organise getting another bed put in there, can you manage that?” asks Dr. Kadowaki.
“Shouldn’t be a problem,” replies Zell.

He also gets up and leaves. Dr. Kadowaki walks back into her office to continue with her reports that she was working on before Squall came to see her.

*~*~*~*~

Squall and Rinoa are sat on her bed cross legged facing each other. The light in the room is coming from the many candles that are littered round the room. The light is only dim so that there is nothing distracting them while they are linked.

“Squall before we begin; is there anything that I don’t know about you that I should? Anything that I may act adversely to. While we are linked I’ll be able to see all of your memories, you can’t hide anything from me.”

Squall sits and thinks for a moment, then says, “There’s nothing.”

“Well there is something about me, about my past, you should know. As you already know I went out with Seifer before I met you, but you don’t know why we split up. Well it’s because we had sex. It was my first time, and he wasn’t exactly gentle, in fact he was rather violent, which is why I broke up with him. He wasn’t very considerate about my feelings. Though the way he tells it, he broke up with me.”

As she finishes talking Rinoa finally looks up at Squall. His face is perfectly calm, but she notices his fists are clenched and shaking.

“Squall, Squall I’m sorry I had to tell you, but don’t you see I had to? If I hadn’t and you saw my memory of this during the link, these emotions you are feeling now would have surged up damaging both of our minds …”

She reaches out to touch one of Squall’s fists, but before she gets even close he pulls away and gets up off the bed, starting to leave the room.

“Where are you going?”

He stops in the door way, but doesn’t turn round. He says to her, “Give me two minutes, then I’ll be back in here, ready to work on these spells.”

He walks into the adjoining section of the room and Rinoa can here a resounding thump come from it; followed by several more before all goes silent. She winces each time she hears one of the thumps.

‘I’m so sorry Squall, so sorry you had to find out this way. But you had to know else something could have gone wrong in the link. It would have been far worse if you had seen my memory of it instead. I’m sorry you had to know. If this hadn’t of happened to Irvine you wouldn’t have had to of known. Not that I’m annoyed at Irvine, just regretful of the whole situation.’

Squall returns to the bed, true to his words after two minutes and sits on the bed facing her cross legged again. His eyes are a little red but not too noticeably.

“Shall we get this over with then?”
“Squall, are you sure you’re ready to do this?”
“I’m fine; just do what you have to do.”
“Ok, well we need to create a physical link. Give me your hands please …” She looks down at his hands only to gasp and look back into his eyes. Upon seeing the look on his face she says nothing but carefully takes his hands in hers, avoiding the massive cuts which are open and bleeding freely over his knuckles.

‘I guess he hit the wall with his bare fists, I wonder where he left his gloves …’

“Squall, you’ll feel my mind come into yours, a little like a junction, don’t push it away when you feel it. You’ll feel my mind as an extension of your own. You’ll be able to see things that I’ve seen, feel things as I’ve felt them. I’ll see your memories, feel your feelings about things, you can’t hide anything I’m afraid. I’ll bring a scan spell between our two minds and tell you what I need you to do. Are you ok with all of this?”
“Whatever. I’ll do anything needed to help Irvine.”
“Ok then, there will be no more need for verbal communication once you feel the link. If at any point in time you want to break the link either tell me or squeeze my hands. I’ll tell you if I need to break it.”
“Ok then. Shall we start?”
“Ok.”

Squall and Rinoa both shut their eyes and concentrate. After a few moments though Rinoa opens her eyes again, and say to Squall,

“I know you are worried about Irvine, but please Squall, you need to open your mind to me.”
Upon hearing her voice Squall opens his eyes. He replies to her, “I’m trying for Hyne’s sake, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I did this to him, and I can’t help. Or not in the way I want to. I’ve shot him, nearly killed him and now this happens. I don’t know what to do.”
“Try going into the state of mind you use for summoning. That will help.”
“I’ll try.”

They try again and this time Rinoa gains access to Squall’s mind.

‘Squall can you feel me?’
‘Yes.’
‘Are you ok with this?’
‘Fine, let’s sort out the three spells then.’
‘Three?’
‘Yes, one for a test, one to confirm Irvine’s injury and one for when Dr. Kadowaki operates.’
‘Ok then.’

Rinoa pulls the first spell between their two minds and they begin working on it, changing it at molecular levels.

*~*~*~*~

Several hours later and Selphie is still lying on the bed with Irvine. Another bed has been placed in the same room as Irvine’s but she has made no move to get on it, let alone sleep on it. She has her head tucked under Irvine’s chin and her left arm is still over his chest. The clock on the wall shows it is 8pm and Irvine has been unconscious for over five hours now. Selphie herself is starting to doze off as she has no one to talk to except herself.

‘Irvine … when you gonna wake up?’ thinks Selphie sleepily. ‘I love you so much. Don’t go away. I care and I worry since that one time in my room. You were affected so badly. Still are. I don’t think it has ever left you has it? Are you ashamed that I saw you like that? I’m glad I saw you like that. I think … no I know that I should have been there for you then … and every other time that you’ve had a memory resurface, but you’ve managed to hide from me every time. I want to be there in the future … I want to help. Just you need to let me in, and then I can.’

‘Why didn’t you tell someone sooner that you were going through this? That something was up. I would have helped you. So would Squall if you felt you couldn’t come to me. I know you don’t like upsetting me, but you hurt me more buy not telling me, or anyone for that matter. I’m here to help, through the good, the bad, everything. Let me help … just don’t … don’t leave … me.’

As she yawns her eyes flutter shut and she relaxes against him. Her breathing deepens as she falls asleep, holding Irvine as leaning against him, soothed by the beat of his heart and the feeling of him breathing.

*~*~*~*~

Just after Selphie slips into a dreamless sleep, Irvine’s eyes twitch then open.

‘Huh? Wha? It can’t have can it? Not, not again. Twice? It’s never happened twice before. Oh yeah, I remember. I think Selphie set it off the second time, the first was my own fault, I twisted in a really stupidly awkward way in the Training Centre. Mmmm Selphie, you stayed …’ He hugs Selphie to himself. ‘You didn’t get Squall? H … hang on … I’m not on a sofa, or at least it sure doesn’t feel like I am. It feels like I’m on a bed … but how did Selphie move me? I’m too heavy for her to move, I mean even Squall has a few problems when it gets to long distances. Wait. This smell … it’s been bothering me since I woke. Selphie’s dorm doesn’t … doesn’t smell like this, like …’ he tenses ‘… like the Infirmary. Oh Hyne. please tell me I’m not … Oh Hyne I am. I’m in the Infirmary. I … I’ve got to go … got to get out … otherwise … otherwise I’ll never … my nightmare will come true. I’ll never leave …’

He sits bolt upright, forgetting that Selphie was resting on him.

“Mmmph I … Irvine …?” she says sleepily.

He ignores her and gets off the bed, and walks round it quickly, heading for the door. Selphie quickly comes to her senses and runs to the door and, since she is on the right side of the bed for the door, she reaches it before Irvine. She stands in the door way, blocking the door way to Irvine.

“Selphie … please … move …” he says to her, his breathing is rather erratic and he is shaking slightly.
“I can’t do that Irvine, I’m sorry.”
“Please Selphie … you have to move.”
“No Irvine. I’m sorry, but you need help.”
“Please move Selphie, please” he begs.
“I can’t …” she says with pain in her eyes. She starts to reach for the mobile to get Squall to help her when Irvine grabs hold of the front of her loose fitting top in a desperate grip and says,
“Please Selphie, I have to get out … I have to …” he sinks to his knees pulling Selphie down with him so she is crouching. He is looking at the floor all the while, his hair spilling over his shoulders and covering his face. “Please …” he begs once more, looking up at her for the first time, and she notices the tears in his eyes and spilling down his face. She pulls him in closer to herself and wrapping her arms round him she hugs him. He moves his grip from her top to round her waist, burying his face in her lap crying freely. He keeps pleading her to let him out while he holds her, but he has no strength to fight her to get out. She holds him while trying to soothe him by rubbing his back and whispering to him,

“Shhh, it’s ok Irvine, shhh. You’re going to be fine. We’ll get you better, get you through this. Shhh. Calm down. I’ll stay here with you, I love you Irvine, I love you. You can’t leave me. Shhh. Come on, I won’t leave you alone here. I know how you feel about here. I’ll stay with you. Come. Come back over to the bed, rest. Please, come back over. Please ...”

She starts to get up and upon feeling her move he follows suit. She leads him by his hand to the bed, though when they get there she lets go of his hand and climbs onto the bed and sits cross legged at the head of it on top of the pillow. She beckons to him to lie on the bed, which he does, lying with his head in her lap, his arms wrapped round her legs. She strokes his hair and face gently as he cries silently and shakes until he falls asleep.

*~*~*~*~

‘Oh Irvine, my Irvine. I know why you want to leave so badly, but I just can’t let you. Don’t you want to get better? To be rid of the bullet, pain and black outs. Oh wait … you don’t know what’s wrong do you? I’d better tell you wake up in the morning, but first, I need to sleep too …’

She lifts Irvine’s head off her lap a little so that she can wriggle down the bed slightly and lying down she curls round his head so that it is in the centre of her stomach. She falls asleep wrapped around his head, exhausted from worrying about him.

*~*~*~*~

The clock on the bedside table reads as 3:14am. Squall and Rinoa are still linked but have nearly finished with the third spell. They have been linked for over ten hours and the strain is starting to show on Rinoa. She is loosing her concentration which is dangerous for both their minds. Squalls hands are no longer bleeding but both his and Rinoa’s hands are covered in his blood and the cuts on his hands are closed and stretched larger than they should be.

‘… Squall …’
‘What’s wrong Rinoa?’
‘I’m … loosing my … concentration. … We need … to break … the link …’
‘Ok, but first, pass me the spells please.’
‘H … here … take them.’

Squall feels Rinoa give him the spells and he accepts them. He feels Rinoa’s mind retreating from his own and he opens his eyes to see Rinoa wavering in front of him. He moves closer to her and as she pitches forward he catches her in his arms.

“Rin, you ok?”
“Yeah … no … I think … I need to sleep. That took more out of me than I expected.”
“Well we have been linked for over ten hours.”
“That long? But what about testing the spells?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll sort that out. Just sleep.”
“… Squall?”
“Yes Rin.”
“Stay with me please, at least until I fall asleep,” she says sleepily.
“Of course.”

Squall and Rinoa lie down on her bed. Squall has his arms wrapped round Rinoa and she is lying against him. Not bothering to remove her clothes she falls asleep against him, soothed by the steady rhythm of his heart and the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

‘Rin, don’t ever let anything happen to you. I mean I could go on without you, but could I live? I’d exist, but I’d like so much more than that. I want to live. And to do that I need you. Need you to be around me, to help me. I don’t want you to ever leave, none of you. Irvine, Selphie, even Zell and Quisty. I want you all to stay, and I’ve nearly lost Irvine, twice.’

Squall gently disentangles Rinoa from himself and gets up to test one of the spells in his dorm.

*~*~*~*~